116 min | PG-13 | February 14, 2024 | Sony Pictures
Sony scrapes the bottom of the Spider-Man IP barrel and finds Madame Web. Dakota Johnson looks like she wants to be anywhere else. So does the audience.
Cassandra Webb is a New York paramedic who develops the ability to see the future after a near-death experience. She discovers that three teenage girls are destined to become spider-powered heroes. A villain named Ezekiel Sims can also see the future and wants to kill the girls before they grow up to kill him. Cassandra must protect them. The plot is Terminator with spider powers and none of the tension. Sony continues to build a Spider-Man universe without Spider-Man and the results continue to be embarrassing.
Dakota Johnson plays Cassie with a flatness that reads as either a deliberate choice or complete disengagement. The line readings are muted. The physicality is minimal. She delivers exposition like someone reading a grocery list. Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor play the three future heroes with as much energy as the script allows, which is not much. Tahar Rahim plays Ezekiel and is badly dubbed in post-production in ways that are visibly obvious. Adam Scott appears as Ben Parker and seems to be in a different, better movie.
S.J. Clarkson directs with the visual language of a television pilot. The action sequences are murky and poorly staged. The future-vision sequences use a visual grammar that the film never commits to or develops. The CGI is unconvincing. The set pieces lack spatial logic. The script by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless requires characters to make decisions that no human being would make in order to arrive at the next scene.
Sony has been making Spider-Man adjacent films without Marvel Studios oversight and every single one has been worse than the last. Morbius was bad. This is worse. The film exists to establish IP for sequels that will not happen. It is a business decision disguised as a movie and it does not bother to disguise it well.